Josh’s van

FISHING VANS ARE ALWAYS WHITE AND FULL OF CRAP. Josh’s was no exception. I climbed inside and negotiated my way into the passenger seat. Then with a struggle found a place for both my feet among the lucazade bottles and general rubbish filling the passenger foot well. There were chocolate wrappers, McDonald’s wrappers, unopened mail and newspapers littering the floor and seats. The cigarette lighter doesn’t work, the radio doesn’t tune and josh’s music isn’t quite to my taste, after twenty minutes of Justin Bieber it was starting to feel like suicide was the only way out.
The heater in the van had two settings, sauté which involved the blower being on full blast and toasting your face until you resembled a freshly boiled lobster, or the preferred slow roast option where by you slowly cooked from the feet up. One way or another due to the windows being jammed shut there was no escaping the sauna like heat. If this wasn’t bad enough every corner caused an unnerving bang from the back of the cab as our gear slid against the van wall causing Josh and I to exchange looks of concern. To say the van had character would be an understatement. Also trying to squeeze that enormous van through the mc Donald’s drive through should be a new challenge on the crystal maze. Iv never seen a van breath in before.
So after probably loosing two stone in weight from sweating, and praying that all my tackle was still in one piece the fifty minute journey to Shatterford lakes was finally over. I climbed down from the van followed by a cascade of empty drinks bottles that I fumbled back into the cab. It was such a relief to be out of that van, I have never been so happy to feel a cold breeze on my face and fill my lungs with the cool morning air.
“My Jaffa cakes have melted” josh said. Pulling the box out of the front pocket of his hoodie “My face has melted” I replied. We laughed. Sadly that’s about the end of this story as we both blanked, I just thought Josh’s van deserved a mention as sadly it is no longer with us, due to, as josh expertly put “the gear box is buggered”


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